Expansion or the Status Quo?

I started writing my blog in the hope that as my memory fades I will write about experiences we encounter on our lifestyle block. I failed miserably!... Instead, I start thinking about past adventures or items of nostalgia, some funny and some serious, but mainly episodes in my life that are meaningful to me and anyone who takes time to read my postings….Facebook just doesn't allow for extended written creations, so I type out my thoughts of personal experiences whenever I get some time to myself …(obviously not much considering the number of blogs posted)

A recent comment in our daily newspaper brought a childhood happening to mind and I want to share it with you. (John Armstrong has recently retired)

The Famous Charles Atlas

John Armstrong the NZ Herald Chief political commentator was describing a leader of a political party as being a bit of a lightweight to the Press and wrote in his weekly column this statement….

"Sure, an aura of geekiness still drips off his wiry frame and makes him the perfect modern-day version of the 44kg weakling who many moons ago inhabited the now legendary adverts for Charles Atlas' "dynamic tension" body-building regime"

Man Magazine 1950s

Well, "Many moons ago" my older brother Dennis and I were reading a purloined copy of MAN MAGAZINE which was supposedly the most racy magazine available in the 1940s-1950s…. An online HISTORICAL MAGAZINE OUTLINED THIS MAGAZINE IN AN ARTICLE…"If anybody today remembers Man magazine, it is probably as the slightly risqué girlie mag read - along with Pix and Australasian Post and several other such titles - by the clients of barber shops. Or perhaps as the rude publication that Uncle Ted kept in his toilet, where visiting nephews used to feast their eyes. Born in 1936 - the brainchild of ad-man Kenneth Murray - Man prospered against the odds through the tough years of the late 1930s and the Second World War to become the centrepiece of an astonishingly successful home-grown Australian publishing empire. In its heyday Man and its spinoffs published excellent fiction and non-fiction articles, cartoons and artwork. Some of the best of Australia’s writers and artists appeared between its covers and many careers were built on its influence" …. …Reading this magazine in 2015 would bring howls of derision as it would appear very tame compared to today's publications!

Typical Atlas Advert 1940-50s

Scary Thought!

When I was a teenager many of my friends and I were concerned about our image, especially towards the fairer sex. Like many  of my friends I was not endowed with a muscular frame and sports wise, I was more into running and swimming rather than spending every week training with weights. Although we all played Rugby on the weekends, our training schedule was fairly light compared to the intensive schedule of today's young players and the movies held more attraction than a gym. I did train with the YMCA for a short period, but this didn't appeal to me as I had to travel to the city to their Gym…..



As we continued to read the Man magazine, my brother pointed out an article featuring an advert on Charles Atlas which was accompanied by another advert featuring a special on "CHEST EXPANDERS"… Dennis said "Why don't we save some pocket money and write away to the Australian address and get a set mailed to us … We could both have a go at building up our bodies before the Summer and also get into a fitness regime" … He was about to leave home and go farming, but we shared a number of lawn mowing clients and I was also about to take over a newspaper delivery run so we thought we could manage the  18/6d it was going to cost, plus postage.

I seem to remember he was already working on the farm before we raised the necessary funds, but one glorious day, a package arrived and I just couldn't wait to unwrap this treasured item!...
Sure enough there was a long skinny box and inside was a gleaming, steel chest expander! What a thrill!....I remember thinking about the adverts that showed a skinny guy on the beach getting sand kicked in his face by a well built bloke who had a nice girl hanging off his arm. … I thought "we'll show them!".

Different Brand, but exact comparison!

I decided not to wait until Dennis came home for one of his infrequent trips (farm work included weekends, with not much time off) but he had bought a little 1936 Ford Y and this made it easier to travel from the Glenbrook area in South Auckland where he worked. .. I made sure I had no nosey brothers or sister around to watch my 1st exercise's and gently unwrapped the chest expander from it's lovely tissue paper covering. Oh how it gleamed! And the shiny red handles only added to it's lustre…. I retrieved the instruction pamphlet from the box and studied the list of exercises which started from easy to slightly harder and prepared myself for what I hoped would be the beginning of a long and happy regime of physical fitness.

Clasping the handles in each hand as directed I lifted my arms and extended them as far as I could ,,, well actually, this wasn't very far! I tried as hard as I could to start a stretch, but the tension was too great for me to even move the springs 1/2 an inch.. How on earth was I going to get the expander to full stretch without pulling a muscle? .. I grabbed the handles tightly and tried again, but as soon as I managed to exert any type of tension my arms would flick back to the slack stage with the springs just hanging loosely in front of me. Oh God my arms started aching after 5 minutes and I was supposed to be attempting 1/2 hour sessions! …It is hard to find an adequate description of my antics as I tried desperately to extend the nice shiny springs, but a "Whirling Dervish" will give some indication … I staggered around the room grunting and desperately trying to maintain some balance …. I pulled as hard as I could but the tension was just too strong! … Even Dennis had a tough time, but at least he managed to get the expander extended past his chest!...

After 1/2 an hour I was absolutely exhausted and my arms felt as if they were going to drop off… I gently put the expander back into it's case and decided I would wait a week before having another attempt…over a period of 6 months I tried all manner of ways to extend the springs out to full arms length without success… I even tried one of the exercises where you place one foot into the handle (like a stirrup) and pull the expander up in front of your body as high as you can … I managed to get just past my belt!

After another 3 months of valiant effort I decided that perhaps I would just stay skinny … it was much safer for my body and I kept the expander in it's box and placed it under my bed where it stayed until I too left home…. I seem to remember finding the box many years later, but by this time the springs had rusted up and the 1st time I tried to use the expander, the springs came away from the handles … it wound up in the dump!

My Treasured Morris 8 Convertible

The lesson : I attracted more interest from the fairer sex with my Morris 8 Convertible than I ever did by flashing my pectoral muscles … Brian vs Brawn will win every day!