Munted & Yomping … a Tusitala Reminiscence

Last year we all got used to hearing the word "Munted" which was used to describe what had happened in Christchurch after the earthquake. 30 years ago the most unusual word was "Yomping" which was a slang term used by British Royal Marines heading towards Port Stanley during the Falklands War in 1982. I was reading an article this week that brought back a mixture of sad and happy memories of incidents that occurred during my work with the Royal New Zealand Navy around this time. As I was a Drum Sergeant in a Regimental Pipe Band it was natural that I should have a special affinity with NCOs in the Navy and during a 25 year association I had experienced many special moments, especially with the Senior Rates Mess at HMNZS Philomel where most of my friends were stationed when they weren't at sea. I had a weekly visit to the Fleet Mess as well as other visits to all the Ships that were in port and including the Officers Wardroom and the Junior Rates Mess both at HMNZS Philomel and HMNZS Tamaki. In fact my claim to fame with the company was the fact that I was the only employee who had successfully secured business from every Military establishment in the Auckland area, this included Navy, Army and Air Force. But I digress.

HMS Sheffield

In May 1982 I was visiting the Senior Rates Mess at Philomel around lunchtime, when an announcement came over the Base Tannoy, "HMS Sheffield has been sunk!" There was instant silence in the Mess and not one person spoke for a moment as the news sank in. (no pun intended) The Sheffield had been hit earlier in the week by an Exocet missile fired by the Argentinean Air Force during the Falklands War and had sustained a lot of damage and casualties even though the missile apparently didn't actually explode. It was an awful moment and I could see the look of despair on the men who were in the Mess that day. I guess many of the men were imagining themselves being on board during this dangerous period and were thinking of their Royal Navy comrades and the 20 dead on board the ship. It was a very sombre afternoon and I can remember everyone asking one another "Did you hear about the Sheffield?" The ship was actually being towed from the Falklands after being abandoned, but she started taking on too much water and had to be sunk. There were other terrible moments of devastation to other ships in this war, but the Sheffield sinking was one of the most dramatic. I hope to be on holiday in Queensland on the 4th of May 2012, but I will be thinking of this Anniversary with some sadness.

HMS Invincible.

Following the end of the Falklands War a Squadron of Royal Navy ships visited New Zealand and I had the pleasure of being invited onboard the HMS Invincible, which was an aircraft carrier. As I climbed the gangway I marveled at the size of the ship, which seemed more compact than HMAS Melbourne, which I had visited previously. I was ushered into the Warrant Officers Mess, which was a huge area that looked like one of our Queen Street pubs, with a fully stocked bar and all the other accoutrements that go with a pub. They served a special brew of Courage beer on tap, whereas the other ships in the fleet had cans of Courage to complement their draught beer which was served in huge pint glasses. The beer was extra strength and mostly served warm, in fact I imagined I was drinking soup at one stage (No, I hadn't over indulged). It certainly was a fabulous experience and I was disappointed to read that the Invincible had been scrapped shortly after a very expensive refit, supposed to extend the ships life by 10 years. The Royal Navy do not now have any aircraft carriers that can handle jets and I believe some RAF pilots are being taught French, so that they can use French carriers if they need to! The Government have ordered two new carriers, but they won't be ready until 2020, so I hope the Falklands situation doesn't get any worse than it is. Nelson would turn in his grave and many commentators suggest the UK government is out of touch with it's military, because none of the Senior politicians have ever served in the military.

The Three "Sheet Houses"

When the Royal Navy ships came to Auckland, my mate John and Friend "Biggy" and I were invited to participate in a "Sods Opera" in the Mess, whereby small groups from different ships, put on a show, on stage in the Mess. Our wives were invited to attend, so we thought that the content would not be too rough and three of us put together a little stage routine albeit with little practice. We had to dress ourselves in something that would be found on board a ship and any songs had to be in English. Talk about hilarious! We made cardboard hats that looked like house roofs and draped our bodies with bed-sheets. We hung signs around our necks that said "I am a Sheet House" and underneath we wore kilts and t shirts. Our dance routine included the singing of the Fred Dagg version of We Three Kings ….
"We Three kings of Orient are,
One on a scooter,
Two in a car and One on a scooter,
Tooting his hooter, following yonder star.


Oh, oh Star of wonder
Star of light
Star of bewdy, she'll be right
Star of glory, that's the story
Following yonder star . .. "

We 3 Kings of Orient Are

What a Hoot! Some of the British sailors were very good and had obviously had plenty of practice and one CPO recited 34 verses of a very bawdy song that had everyone in stitches, but I think the navy rum might have started to alter the content of the singing, so John and I took our ladies home at that stage!

Just before the ships left Auckland I was invited onboard one of the Frigates (can't remember the name) and managed to secure a small order of New Zealand wine for the Officers Wardroom but as they were accompanied by an RFA (Royal Fleet Auxiliary) they had enough supplies of other wines and spirits to get back to England, so they didn't require any more duty free goods. This of course meant a visit to the Chief Stewards Mess for a "complimentary" Courage draught. I couldn't help notice how rough everything looked compared to our ships messes, but then these men had been in a war zone and I guess housekeeping was a low priority. The other thing that I noticed was the huge variety of dialects, just in one mess, from Geordies, to Cockneys, to Men of Kent and even Kentish Men (I learned the difference on that visit) and a few Londoners as well

HMS Sheffield- Hit by Exocet

I guess there won't be many Kiwis this April 2012 thinking about Yomping, Goose Green, San Carlos waters, Port Stanley, The Malvinas, The Belgrano , HMS Ardent, Antelope & Coventry (all sunk) MV Atlantic Conveyor, RFA Sir Tristram, RFA Sir Galahad (attacked and badly damaged ... Simon Weston of the Welsh Guards was badly burnt on Sir Galahad and became famous in later years for his fundraising efforts) Colonel H Jones VC, who led the famous charge of 2 Para Regiment at Goose Green and was killed there. It all seems so long ago.

This was only one of many "happenings" that I enjoyed with my Navy friends and it sure made my working life "different" to many of my associates and I look back with nostalgia and delight that I was fortunate enough to have been there when it happened! Wouldn't have missed it for quids!